Gharcholu: a saree from “Mother-in-Love” to welcome “Daughter-in-Love”
The name Gharcholu means “Outfit for Home” which symbolizes a newly wedded bride joining her new home. This saree is a gift from the Mother-in-Law to the newly wedded bride, which the bride would change into as soon as she stepped into her new family. The bride wears Gharcholu above the Paanetar. Paanetar is essentially the Gujarati name of the bridal saree that is gifted to the bride by her maternal uncle. Initially, this bridal saree showcased green in its border and pallav. This tradition evolved to incorporate the colors saffron and yellow around the time of the independence of India. The middle part of the saree is a pearl white colour to showcase the eternal bond between two souls and two families.
“Take up one idea. Make that one idea your life – think of it, dream of it, live on that idea. Let the brain, muscles, nerves, and every part of your body, be full of that idea and just leave every other idea alone. This is the way to success”. Swami Vivekananda
Today, I wish to share how the journey of two divine souls started and formed with a strong foundation of trust. They both are strong believers in “Trust precedes love”. The unbreakable agreement between two matured, kind, dedicated and gold-hearted people formed a virtual university of values and principles through their marriage. It’s a phenomenal achievement in today’s materialistic world. They both lived up to their commitments to each other and both their families. They sailed the ocean of dreams to the glorious reality successfully together. It is not true that their journey was easy, smooth and without troubles. Nonetheless, they kept their promises to each other till their last breath. They actively and constantly adjusted themselves around the needs of their children, parents, families, relatives, friends, colleagues and whoever they had in touch with during their journey of life. They became the eternal strength of each other silently. They supported each other without showing off. They both devoted themselves to each other wholeheartedly. They communicated with their mind, thoughts, heart and feelings. Their love and gratitude towards each other were not dependable on the soft-spoken and polished words ever. They comprehend their silences way beyond anyone can imagine and can even understand. Silence speaks louder than words but here, much nicer way. The words with heavy meaning may have better use somewhere else but not with this platinum couple, I bet.
Their definition of love was formed around complete abandonment, renunciation, forgiveness and surrendering with plenty of devotional compliments. Their understanding of each other was exceptional. They lived the life that the world should know and learn. That’s the only force of energy I have to drive this mission of building a virtual temple of values through the narration of their unconditional pure eternal bond. The real virtues of their life have included continuous hard work, education, spirituality, foresight and many more. These virtues and values are woven into their blood. They worked on them cautiously throughout their lives. They utilised these virtues fully to their optimum limits. They dreamed to provide and building a strong foundation resulting in a bright and glorious future for the generations to come. I am grateful to my parents and the almighty for the chance to channelizing this through myself.
Param Pujya Shree Mahendrakumar Ratilal Shah: a brief bio
My father, Mahendrakumar Ratilal Shah, was born on 25th December 1938 in Kheda, Gujarat. He was the youngest child of the family. My Grandfather, Param Pujya Shree Ratilal Maganlal Shah (earlier Sheth) and my grandmother, Param Pujya Shree Kanchanben Ratilal Shah had a very loving and romantic relationship in their marriage. They had an elder son, Param Pujya Shree Surendrabhai (Kaku – Mota Bapuji) Ratilal Shah and a daughter-in-law, Shree Sarojben Surendrabhai Shah. They lived separately after their marriage near Sambhavnath Ni Khadaki, Chaumukhaji Ni Pol, Tankshal, Amadavad. They had an elder daughter, Param Pujya Shree Sarojben (Faibaa) happily married to Shree Chinubhai (Fuva) Shah. My father started studying Engineering first. He was required to do a job with his studies to support the family. He started working for The Arun Textile Mill Ltd. He could not finish Engineering along with the full time job. Meanwhile, he completed Bachelor of Commerce though and started a job at the Navgujarat College as Head Clerk in 1965. He completed Master of Commerce and Bachelor of Legislative Law later in his life while working full time at the Navgujarat College. He was the promoter of education to all. I would not complete my master’s degree without his push as I described previously. He helped countless students, needy and poor people regardless of their caste, age and social status during his life and beyond.
Left: Param Pujya Shree Ratilal Maganlal Shah (Dada)
Middle: Param Pujya Shree Mahendrakumar Ratilal Shah (Pappa)
Right: Param Pujya Kanchanben Ratial Shah (Baa)
My father was very handsome and tall with 5 feet 10-inch height. He was very fond of Bollywood movies. He watched all the new movies on the very first show on Fridays as soon as they were released to the theatres those days. He knew all the names of heroes and heroines of the 1950s. He loved music and whistling the song according to the tune.
He was very skillful playing with cards and spinning tops. He was able to run a spinning top on his thumbnail for more than a long few minutes. I don’t recall seeing anyone else doing that in my lifetime at least. He used to make nice designs from the cards. He was keen to have photos on special occasions as memories. You need to invite a photographer to the event during those days at a special cost. There was a considerable cost to develop the photos during that time. No retakes were allowed. Right? The current generation would be very surprised reading this but that’s the fact of the 1960s. It was a very different world compared to today’s digital world.
My father (Pappa) was able to create layers of the circles, similar to the above images. His handwriting was very beautiful, better than calligraphy even.
He says:
મૃત્યુથી કોઈ મરતું નથી, જ્યાં સાચો સ્નેહ છે ત્યાં મૃત્યુ જ નથી. માણસ માણસને સ્મૃતિ થી તારે છે જીવાડે છે અને વિસ્મૃતિથી મારે છે.
means,
“No one dies from death, where there is true love there is no death. The human rises the human from memory and kills him/her from oblivion”.
Param Pujya Shree Kusumben Virpalbhai Vardhmaan Kothari: a brief bio
My grandparents, Param Pujya Shree Virpalbhai Vardhmaan Kothari and Param Pujya Shree Vijyaben Virpalbhai Kothari lived their life with the motto of simple living and high thinking. They had five daughters and three sons. My mother was their 7th child. My mother was born on 30th September 1933 in the historic city of Wadhwan, the central part of Gujarat, on the banks of the Bhogavo River. The name of the town derived from the 24th Tirthankara Shree Lord Mahavir Swami of Jainism. Wadhwan is very popular for green chili.
Add a photo of everyone and a video of JanmaShatabdi of Mota Massibaa
Description of Pujya Mota Maasibaa and Pujya Mota Maasa
My grandfather (Param Pujya Shree Virpalbhai Vardhaman Kothari) passed away when my mother was two years old. So she didn’t recall the face of her father very well. My Motibaa (Vijyabaa) had another sister, Param Pujya Shree Champaben (Gheliben as a nickname) Balubhai Kamalshee Sanghavi. I used to call her, Maasibaa. Massibaa didn’t have any children. She was living at Amadavad, Gujarat. She brought my mother with her when she was 2 years old. They lived with Pujya Maasibaa (Champabaa). She didn’t know until she was a teenager that she had all real siblings. She thought that they were her cousins.
Add photos of Maasibaa and Maasa
Emotional Values of Panetar: Add PRAGNIL video
The reputational Values of Gharcholu: Add the Transcript of Chokshi Sir’s video
My father shared with one of his colleagues at Arun Textile Mills Ltd. that he was looking forward to getting married and starting a family life. His colleague was my Maasi’s elder brother-in-law, living at Hathikhana, Ratan Pole, Amadavad. He played the role of mediator to arrange a meeting for my mother and father at his residence in the month of November 1964. The moment they saw each other, was my mother was rolling a roti and my father entered the house. They both felt the divine bond in that very moment and that’s how the journey began.
add photo of MotaBapuji and Mota Bhabhu